Mon père m'a dit

"Que no me la callen! Porque la gente que se calla, pierde!"

~Ca sera my rallying call. I shall try to take esas palabras to heart.

Because, really, why should I be quiet? Why should I?

I don't feel like people listen, so I silence myself. That has always been my problem. And I've known it. I've known I should speak up more, assert myself more, but I haven't.

Why? Because it tires me.

I am constantly wavering between idealism and cynicism. I am a different type of realist. I feel the real, and try to deny it. I hope for change, but don't really believe I'll see it.

And I'm tired.

The uncompassionate political climate, the inhuman legislation and the subsequent actions, the contrasting social standing of my poor neighborhood and my richer peers at school, the inability of some people to consider the other side of the picture, the unnecessarily stressful school system, the reforms we need and are going without, the --- argh! I can't list it all!

I guess I'm guilty of escapism. And hiding. This whole blog is an example of that. I shield my words with linguistic layers only I fully understand. I don't want to be read, but I write. I WANT to write. I must speak, but I'm afraid to to be heard.

It's not that I don't want to be heard. I just don't think I'll be heard. And I'm scared of what will happen if I am.

Ah geez, que pasa avec this country? Et le monde? C'est kowaii. Todo, c'est kowaii. Don't know what that means? It's "scary." The world is a scary place.

I think I'll go back to escribiendo en codigo. Pour ma sanity, il faut que j'écrive mais il n'est pas necesario ahora que me lean. Eso puede esperar. Until when? I don't know! Ay, I don't know. Usare este espacio para escribir sans inhibitions. Je serai complètement blunt, albeit a escondidas. Practicare gritando l'en publique. Pourquoi? Parce qu'il est plus importante en publico que aqui.

Si sacara todo aqui, que est-ce que je diria alla? Non, que no me callen. No los dejare. Il sera dificil, mais es necesario. Que no me callen mas.

Je l'écris ici to remind myself. C'est tout.

C'est comme les plants

I was reading FMA fanfiction et j'encountered le topic des pairings.

No me gustan los pairings. It's as simple as ~ca.

Yaoi, slash, yuri, het, whatever. No!

No me gustan.

And he pensado.

Porque?

Como explico?

Ah ha!

Une fanfic est comme un plant. Un plant peut directer son energie vers flowering ou vers surviving the winter. C'est son choice.

Writing for pairings es como escojiendo la ruta de la flor en vez de la ruta de salvar para el invierno. Les pairings are ok si vienen naturalmente, mais don't force them. It's annoying. Salva ton energie pour l'hiver.